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Finding My Spirit

Last night I experienced a spiritual win while performing with laryngitis, a 2 hour set with my band…

Before reading, I write every blog to music. This blog is written to "Senses"

by August Lee Stevens.

Rewind to last weekend, my baby was sick and transferred a nasty cough to my husband. After a full night of cough attacks, he stayed home Monday from work to rest, while I began to feel the onset of a sore throat…

I decided to vocal rest Monday, but had to rehearse solo on Tuesday. I did go all out and vocal rested Wednesday. Thursday I had a full band rehearsal which I knew wasn’t a great idea, but my band had to reschedule (due to sickness) last week’s practice to this week, and the only available day for everyone was Thursday. So we did, and I felt 80% while getting through rehearsal. I’ll also mention that band rehearsal was so much fun!

But when I woke on Friday, my voice was GONE. I saline rinsed my nose and throat, took a shot of apple cider vinegar, made myself a honey garlic tea, lubricated my throat with some EVOO & breathed in my Vicks-filled humidifier. I proceeded to survive a 1.5 hour work meeting then stepped outside to pray for strength and a miracle. I text my friend to pray for me and called my bestie for advice. She said getting rest helped her get past a sore throat for a past show, so I requested the rest of the day off to rest. It was hard to nap because I was concerned, but I did…eventually.

I woke and felt a little better. I pushed and prepped all my equipment, self care items - ginseng honey tea, a tumbler of bourbon, warm water with a dash of salt and evoo, and did my hair and makeup. I felt stage ready and hoped my voice would magically come back when the time came.

We took off and dropped off the babies… Setting up was great, but then I started conversing with all my friends and family who came… Rbyn & D Fox CRUSHED their set of R&B covers, and I stepped outside to check my voice… it was GONE again! I talked too much… right before this moment…

I prepped my band to play softly prior to the show… and when we began, I could just tell, my voice was shot, but my spirit was high & I felt an overwhelming sense of peace. I had all the right people in the room who loved me. I was supported by mom, husband, band and friends who are like family. I was too blessed and filled with gratitude to let my voice steal me of my joy.

I breathed in with my nose, kept my larynx low and forward, pushed through my diaphragm, tried to feel it in my nasal, and could feel a steadiness in my voice. These were all recently learned techniques I discovered or learned with Rbyn and Brooke in the last week. There was a good chance that my voice would overcome.

My eyes were lit up, I couldn’t help but to smile on the inside and do what I came to do. We finished my first set and received love and encouragement from my people. My band sounded great and despite the condition of my voice, it sounded decent and everyone could see me pushing through, which said a lot.

My friend who prayed for me, said he prayed all afternoon for me and let it keep flowing. He gave me the most gracious hug, just what I needed for set 2. My voice was slightly coming back. I felt an overwhelming sense of peace with accepting the moment and expressed how important it was to aim to be your highest self. It’s the only way to live without regrets…

We completed set 2 and my band was super proud of me. We were all having fun and I was ready for set 3. We closed out with some of the highest and hardest songs of the night and my voice powered through. Miraculously, we were completing the mission. I was covered in His grace, mercy, and a magical aura. I felt protected, guided and on the right path. It was EXACTLY 12:00am when we finished the show - my first sign that it was meant to be. I let my phone be the DJ while we packed and remember reaching for it to change the song and seeing 12:12. I took note of the God wink and played my Afrobeat playlist.  I had to provide music until 1AM and Janelle’s “Float” played at 12:58. The lyrics to the song resonated with me WHOLEHEARTEDLY as my spirit floated in the room.

My spirit carried me through this night, not my voice. I found a spark and a deep sense of joy that I hadn’t experienced in a long time. It was wonderful that, in spite of  losing my voice, I found my spirit, and she’s beautiful, brilliant and bright. ✨


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